This One is Bizarre!

[00:00:02] Speaker A: I can see you now. [00:00:03] Speaker B: I. [00:00:05] Speaker C: Big pole on the way over there. [00:00:08] Speaker B: She's like, she's gonna keep kidding. [00:00:10] Speaker C: I only have one camera, and so that means that when I do that with you, I can't be on. So I would have to be like, click, click, click. I would never be able to keep up with it. [00:00:18] Speaker B: Yeah, don't do that. [00:00:20] Speaker C: Fancier one these other days. All right, we are in the studio. I don't even know why that's funny. Or that. [00:00:30] Speaker B: Because your eyebrows go up when you say stuff like that. [00:00:33] Speaker C: Because I love being in the studio with you. [00:00:36] Speaker B: It's fun. [00:00:37] Speaker C: You decided we should bring on a guest speaker today? [00:00:40] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:00:41] Speaker C: Guest speaker. Almost sounds like we're going to sit back and just listen to what she has to offer us. [00:00:45] Speaker B: Well, I'm sure. I'm sure that she could tell us all kinds of stories. [00:00:49] Speaker C: If you're wondering who she is, it's none other than Jessica Jones. Superheroine. [00:00:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm a superhero. [00:00:59] Speaker C: Isn't Jessica Jones a superhero? [00:01:01] Speaker A: Superhero in the house. [00:01:03] Speaker C: What is Jessica Jones in? She is a superhero. What's she in? [00:01:07] Speaker A: She's a DC. I think it's a DC. [00:01:09] Speaker C: DC. [00:01:11] Speaker A: She's with Luke Cage. [00:01:13] Speaker C: That doesn't all. Okay, well, but it's Jessica Jones, the superhero, and if I didn't already say that, also known as my buddy Jessica, who I play a lot of pickleball with. Oh, she's in Marvel. She's not in DC. [00:01:26] Speaker A: Oh, my bad. [00:01:27] Speaker C: That's very important because I'm a Marvel guy. [00:01:31] Speaker A: I don't know the difference. [00:01:32] Speaker C: Most of the time, she looks mean. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:01:34] Speaker C: Is she mean? [00:01:35] Speaker A: I mean, is that fitting? [00:01:37] Speaker C: Yes. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:39] Speaker C: Okay. So I've already predetermined the name for this show is gonna be its bizarro world. Because. Because the topic today is. What is it? What is it? Sky, my sweet love? [00:01:54] Speaker B: Conflict resolution. [00:01:55] Speaker C: Conflict resolution with Jessica Jones. Can't even keep a straight face over here. She's laughing. [00:02:03] Speaker A: What would you like me to say to that? I'm the queen of conflict. Maybe not resolution. [00:02:10] Speaker C: Okay, you cover the first half, I'll cover the second half. [00:02:15] Speaker A: That's. [00:02:16] Speaker C: I guess what I want to say to you is, can we use that on the air? Or do you want me to not use that on the air? [00:02:23] Speaker A: You can use it. [00:02:24] Speaker C: I love that about. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Are you kidding? I'm self aware. [00:02:27] Speaker C: Look at you. Emotional intelligence was gonna be part of my discussion tonight. Pulling out self aware, already on me. [00:02:32] Speaker B: Plus, it creates a stigma for her opponents and they get a little nervous. [00:02:40] Speaker C: Actually, it's not the opponents. [00:02:44] Speaker A: If it was just the opponents, that would be awesome. [00:02:49] Speaker B: You're legitimately pulling out a book right now. [00:02:52] Speaker C: No. I am saying to you that it's not the opponents, it's the partnership. [00:02:57] Speaker B: No, but I'm watching you open a book. [00:02:59] Speaker C: This is the book that you will be going through soon. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Oh, goody. [00:03:02] Speaker C: When you take your emotional intelligence exam, I'm so excited. Actually, you requested it. [00:03:07] Speaker B: I wanted, like, a quiz you'd find in a magazine. Not like a. [00:03:12] Speaker C: It's a quiz you find in a book. Pretty close. [00:03:14] Speaker A: It's a six week course. [00:03:20] Speaker B: No, thank you. [00:03:21] Speaker C: That is so messed up, Jessica. [00:03:23] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:03:24] Speaker C: Hold on. [00:03:24] Speaker B: I have enough emotional intelligence to say no. [00:03:28] Speaker C: I actually teach emotional intelligence, and I'm doing a session up in Minnesota next week, the 20th, whenever that is. Don't forget, probably this week, based on when this comes. We can't use that. Well, we can. I just can't put the other stuff in from earlier. That was a good one. She loves to burn me, and she burned me good on that one. [00:03:50] Speaker B: I would like to prefer. I like to roast. [00:03:53] Speaker C: Whatever. She roasted me. [00:03:54] Speaker B: I roasted you. [00:03:55] Speaker C: Back to the topic at hand. [00:03:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:58] Speaker C: Resolution sky, this was your topic. I'm not going to force you to lead out on this necessarily, but what caused you to come up with this as a topic? [00:04:05] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I grew up as a volleyball player, so there has to be a lot of communication on the court when you are playing a sport on a court with six people. And we got complicated. We had fake plays, we had coverage. We had all kinds of stuff. So it's very natural for me to be on the court with somebody else. But if you have never played a court sport where you have to communicate on the court, it can be tough because you get frustrated with yourself or you get frustrated with your partner, and all of a sudden you're wrecking your game because you can't move past mistakes either of you have made, or you are playing against somebody that you don't like. And that can be really tough because you're trying to be sportsmanlike, but you're also frustrated with maybe a bad call. And so there's a lot of things that can happen on the court that will throw your game and not make it fun. So I thought it would be fun to cover that on the podcast so that people can have some tools to use that might help them move through, you know, get over. What was the other thing you said? Get past whatever, something that has happened so they can enjoy the game. [00:05:24] Speaker C: That is one heck of an intro. I'm a hit of the game. Okay, so, goodness. How do we respond to that? [00:05:37] Speaker B: I agree a lot. There's a lot I'm gonna say. [00:05:39] Speaker C: I agree. Just. [00:05:41] Speaker A: I agree. Off court, Jessica agrees. On court, Jessica has a hard time. [00:05:47] Speaker C: Off court Jess. And on court Jess. So, on court, Jess? Yeah. I mean, and we didn't bring you on here because you have a hard time. This is the fix Jessica podcast. No, actually, I think, in fairness to you, you have changed a lot in the last four or five years. Five years. Almost six years since we have a cheer button cheerleader. That was easy. We wouldn't hit that one six years later. Jess, I love playing with you. You know that? You're one of my favorite people to play with on the same side of the court. I also love playing against you because I love to make you mad when I hit good shots against you. [00:06:24] Speaker A: My famous saying is, why didn't you do that when you were my partner? [00:06:29] Speaker B: Yes, I've asked him that before. [00:06:31] Speaker C: The thing is, I do, but you don't notice because I also screw up when I'm your partner. And that's all you see. [00:06:40] Speaker A: That's not true. I'm an equal opportunist. [00:06:42] Speaker C: Social awareness. You said you're good at self awareness. I'm going to judge you on social awareness here. I'm not so sure about that. [00:06:48] Speaker B: No judgment zone. [00:06:50] Speaker C: I will say this statistically. Do you think your partner plays better or worse based on your attitude in the game? [00:07:00] Speaker B: For me or for Jesse? [00:07:01] Speaker A: No, in general. [00:07:04] Speaker C: In general, this podcast is going to be like that the whole night. No, in general, I would say if. [00:07:09] Speaker B: You guys are on the same page, you're going to play better, but there's going to be times when you're both upset or you're once upset. And what I love, and we've covered this in a podcast before, is I'm still learning. And so when I'm making mistakes and you want to coach me, you now say, which you didn't before, but you now say, do you want some coaching? [00:07:32] Speaker C: And I don't even say it that way. [00:07:34] Speaker B: Are you. How are you? [00:07:35] Speaker C: I say, is it okay if I give you any coaching, or do you want to just play? [00:07:38] Speaker B: Exactly. So that is an example of how we've moved past or through some conflict, because you know that if I don't want to be coached, it's going to be. I'm going to be. I'm angry. [00:07:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:51] Speaker B: And that will sometimes make my game better, because I do play better. I'm angry, but it also isn't nice to make people angry if you're on the same team. [00:08:02] Speaker C: Jessica plays better angry. [00:08:04] Speaker A: A little bit angry. When we were angry is bad. [00:08:08] Speaker C: When we were in Kentucky, in the first tournament we ever played in, or at least first tournament I ever played in. You and I took gold. [00:08:15] Speaker A: First tournament I ever played in, in mixed. [00:08:18] Speaker C: And there was a game where you just weren't playing very well. I don't know that I was playing all that well, either, honestly. I think we were kind of like, I was playing better when you weren't. You were playing better when I wasn't. And at one point, I was like, we're gonna lose to this stupid team that we should never lose to. So I did a couple things to make her mad, and it worked. [00:08:35] Speaker B: You were a stinker. [00:08:36] Speaker C: Yeah. What? She knew. [00:08:37] Speaker B: You knew he was doing that to you? [00:08:39] Speaker A: I don't know if I knew in the moment. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Maybe not in the moment, but we talked about it right afterwards. She was like, you made me mangrove on purpose. And I was like, yes, I did. Yes, I did. [00:08:46] Speaker B: My mom used to do that in volleyball. She'd be like, get angry from the sidelines, which would make me angry because she's embarrassing me. [00:08:54] Speaker C: I got embarrassed. That was great. I guess I'm angry now. [00:08:57] Speaker B: Exactly. So, seriously that we need to give them some tools. [00:09:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Let's go to our guest on this. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:03] Speaker C: So, Jess, what do you think are some of the best tools? Or maybe in some. Maybe it's just the way you talk, but what are some of the best things that can be done on court to help a team get through conflict resolution? We'll start with the team, because I think there's also conflict resolution on both sides of the. Like, if I don't agree with your call, you should talk about that, too. But let's stay on the same team. What do you got, Jess? [00:09:22] Speaker A: Well, I think first it starts before the game. So, like, warm up together, hang out together, um, talk strategy together. I don't think partners do enough of that before a tournament. I might have a different idea about how we're playing a team than you do. [00:09:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Also share information. Like, I might notice that we're playing against a lefty, and you might not notice that. Or vice versa. [00:09:50] Speaker C: Totally. Tonight, we played against two lefties, and I didn't realize it until one of them told me he was left. And I looked at her, and she's also left. [00:09:57] Speaker A: So I think it definitely starts before the match. [00:10:01] Speaker C: Little biscuits and gravy together. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I've played with partners that I've played a lot with, and I've also been set up with partners where you meet that day, which I love, meeting new people and. And playing with them. But a couple of times those people have been late to the match, and so we did not get a chance to warm up. We did not get a chance to talk strategy. We didn't even really get a chance to introduce ourselves. Wow. And that happened. That's happened to me twice. So. [00:10:37] Speaker C: Gotta be brutal. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:38] Speaker B: That's not nice to do your partner. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Right. So as much as I am not emotionally mature or I am, I have not. That really does. That really does mess with me. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's just not. How. [00:10:54] Speaker C: How arrogant do you have to be to be like, I don't need to meet my partner. I'll show up late, we'll be fine. [00:10:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:00] Speaker A: I think. I do think there are people out there that. That see it that way. My partners that I played with, I wouldn't necessarily say they. They had that attitude. It was unfortunate circumstances or maybe they just didn't realize it was important. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:22] Speaker A: You know, like, one of my partners was younger, so they might not have realized how important that is. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I think it's good, like, having that conversation, too, but, like, you know, what is your expectations from this tournament or this, you know, like, you know, what are you hoping to get out of it? Are you here just to play and have fun? Like, I'm about to go to another tournament with Kevin, but he's traveling over the next few weeks, and so we're not going to get a lot of practice time together. And my expectations of that tournament, though, I would love to win. It's really the experience, having that experience. I know I'm going to get smack smacked around, but it's. [00:11:59] Speaker A: It's good. [00:11:59] Speaker B: I need. I need that experience, and that's what I'm going for. [00:12:02] Speaker C: This is our second tournament together. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Yep. [00:12:04] Speaker C: At 3.5. [00:12:06] Speaker A: Yep. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Because we have to. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Yeah, we covered that in a previous. [00:12:11] Speaker C: Episode because of obvious reasons. [00:12:13] Speaker B: Yep. [00:12:14] Speaker C: Yeah. That makes sense to me, I think, you know, Jess and I, you know, sky, there will be a point in our life when I will say there's nobody I played more pickleball with than you, but right now, there's nobody I've played more pickleball with than Jessica. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:12:25] Speaker C: And so we. We know each other very well on the court. I know where she's gonna be most of the time. I laugh. Cause tonight I missed it on one and she just looked at me like, what are you doing over here? And I was like, yeah, I know, my bad. But that's a big part of it, that partner communication, whether it's verbal or non verbal, is a super important part. And we have the type of relationship where we're super candid with each other. It's never been like, fine, whatever. Or you said this, or you said, it's none of this wishy washy, passive aggressive crap. We're very honest and straightforward with each other. That has really helped us be comfortable with each other on the court and know where each other's going to be. There's that component to it. What else is there? [00:13:06] Speaker A: I don't take criticism from very many people, except Kevin's one of them. [00:13:12] Speaker C: Yeah. And, yeah. I don't. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Well, I don't know that it's criticism. I would say it's just advice or coaching. [00:13:19] Speaker C: Yeah, coaching, yeah. But we coach each other. It's not that I'm her coach. Right. It's I'm her partner, and I'm coaching her to be a better partner to me because that's what we need together. Just like she needs to coach me to be a better partner to her because that's what we need together. And this is the thing that I love about really good teams. You will see how clearly evident it is that they understand each other verbally and non verbally on the courts. And one of the things that they do is they tap paddles every single play. And one of the things that we do is almost. Almost every single play, we tap paddles. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Yep. [00:14:00] Speaker C: And it's just a connection thing that reminds you we're in this together. She hits a shot in the net, means we hit a shot in the net. [00:14:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:07] Speaker C: Hit a shot out of bounds means we hit a shot out of bounds. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:10] Speaker C: Right. If I get frustrated with her, that doesn't help our team in any way, shape or form. [00:14:13] Speaker B: No. [00:14:14] Speaker C: So I would rather coach her up than talk her down. [00:14:19] Speaker B: I love that. [00:14:20] Speaker C: Talk her down. Dress her down. Dress her down. That's what I meant to say. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Okay. So, so far, I've heard, you know, be on the same page. [00:14:26] Speaker C: Yep. [00:14:26] Speaker B: So whether that's having time together to become comrades, make sure you set expectations. And then the third thing is, be coachable with each other. Have that level of respect for each other, to be able to listen and apply it. [00:14:47] Speaker C: And then there's probably just what you and I would have to call, like, the latitude to know that not everything is designed for winning. And this is the hardest one for you when we're together. But I will tell her Saturday mornings, I practice my serves. [00:15:04] Speaker B: Oh, I see. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I can be a sore loser. I really like. [00:15:10] Speaker C: Did she say can be or I will be? I just want to make sure I heard her correctly. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Well, he. We played together on that drill morning, and. [00:15:19] Speaker C: And I think you and Jess. [00:15:21] Speaker B: Yeah. And so, in that time, you actually. Maybe it was because it's a drill morning and you weren't expecting to necessarily win you or you just would be nice to me. You were doing a really great job of coaching me, and, you know, I felt very. I felt like everyone was very attentive, and that made me want to play better, so I. And I appreciated that, too, because I wanted. Wanted to. And maybe that's what it is. When you guys coach each other, you are feeling like, you know, respected, and your partner's being attentive and. And that. [00:15:59] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, I'm gonna probably show my colors here, but I'm about accountability, like, in my life, in pickleball and all. All places. So I'm the first one to be mad at myself. [00:16:17] Speaker C: True. [00:16:17] Speaker A: And I'm the first one to tell you my bad. If I do something that set you up poorly or I gave you or I didn't execute our plan, maybe we. We set up a plan, and then I'm not executing it. That sort of thing. So I expect that from people when I'm playing with them. And sometimes it doesn't happen. [00:16:41] Speaker C: In those instances, we say, do not look, Jessica. There could be snakes you could turn into stone. We're not sure. Don't look at Jessica. [00:16:50] Speaker B: That's rude. [00:16:51] Speaker C: It is. But I love her, or I wouldn't say that mean stuff. [00:16:54] Speaker B: First you call her a heroine, and then you compare to a medusa. [00:16:58] Speaker C: See, she's goddess like. I mean, she's a heroine or a goddess. I don't know which one scares me on either account. [00:17:05] Speaker A: Actually, what I hear is, I'm a strong woman. [00:17:09] Speaker B: So take it. Take it. [00:17:12] Speaker C: Yes. Channel that energy, Jess. I think, Scotty, you're onto something good here. And you said when we coach each other. But I really want to peel that back, because if we look at the root cause, it's not necessarily that we should coach each other. I just happen to know that with Jessica, when I tell her I need you to be a coach in this game, she doesn't get upset about the things that go wrong like she would in a regular game. Okay, so I know that about her. But not everyone would be the same. Somebody you might need to say to them, I need you to put it on your happy face. Let's just go screw around and have a great time. [00:17:43] Speaker B: Right? [00:17:44] Speaker C: I'm gonna serve overhead and see what happens. Like Eddie, he'll good. [00:17:47] Speaker B: I need you to carry me. [00:17:48] Speaker C: Yeah. So. But the point is knowing your partner, right? I wouldn't say to you, Sky, I just need you to be the coach in this game. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Right? [00:17:56] Speaker C: That's not I, all I have to say to you is, let's just go have a blast, right? Because I know that's exactly what you want to do. And she loves to coach. And so really, the root is knowing what your partner needs to be able to be successful. [00:18:08] Speaker B: That's it. That's the key. [00:18:09] Speaker C: Yeah. And that's that emotional touch and stuff we were talking about earlier. So self aware is great. Socially aware is also super important. And then managing those things. [00:18:18] Speaker B: So let's say, let's set the stage. You're on the court. Your partner is, I don't know, grumpy. They're just in a whatever mood, and it's is affecting the game. What do you do next? [00:18:36] Speaker C: So I'll use Josh Uyghur as an example. [00:18:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:18:38] Speaker C: Because I don't think he'll mind at all. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Okay. [00:18:41] Speaker C: He and I were playing together on probably Friday morning, and he was just off. Now, I had been off just like he was maybe the week before. And he's a good cheerleader. He's like, come on, Kev. Come on. You're okay. Don't worry about it. Come on, Kev. Good cheerleader. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:18:55] Speaker C: Kind of like a coach, but just a really good cheerleader. And I think that's the right term because he's a great guy that way. So I literally, I think we were getting beat seven two or something like that. And I said, timeout. They just looked at me. I'm like, look, it's one of the rules of the game. I'm taking a frickin 1 minute timeout. I'm gonna talk to my boy here. [00:19:08] Speaker A: Just interacting, but just drop it. [00:19:10] Speaker C: It's still a rule. So I looked at Josh, and I go, I think you're just trying too hard for us to win. I said, we need to go back to what we do really well. And he just looked at me. He's like, you're right. I am trying too hard. But being able to see that in your partner and to understand what it is like, there will be times when I hit, like, I don't know, five crappy shots in a row. [00:19:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:32] Speaker C: And it just makes me want to hit the next one harder, not better. That's the problem. See? Not better, but harder. And harder is not the right solution to that. So I have a good partner like Jessica, who will say to me, she'll be like, I won't say how you say it to me, but I will say what you say to me. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Does she say, just get him. [00:19:51] Speaker C: I need a beep sound on my. She says, hey, you've hit the last four in the net. I need you to place the next one. Or she'll be like, I need you to strategically consider your next job, or I need you to soften it. I need you to drop it instead of drive it. And she'll like, give me that. You call it coaching, but she knows that my pattern is he's going to get mad now and just rip the next one right, which is just going to go instead of the net. It's just going to go long. It's still going to be out, but she knows. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Or you're going to hit somebody on the side and hurt them. [00:20:22] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Well, I also think that there was one shot that I was talking to you about. You did something that you wouldn't normally do, and I said, hey, this backhand cross court is your bread and butter. Why are you going away from it? So that's another thing that is important, is knowing your partner's strengths and telling them it's okay to use their strengths. We're always trying to follow all these pickleball rules. [00:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:52] Speaker A: Which is great, especially if you've drilled it and you're comfortable with it. But if you're not and you're comfortable with something else, let's go with what. What's reliable for you. And that's okay. [00:21:05] Speaker C: Really good point. Because the very next play. What did I do? I took that backhand sliced, dropped it on the backside. We won the rally. And she was like, see? Right, yeah, told you so. No, she wasn't mean, but it was. I looked at her and I said, thank you. I said, that really helped me because I wasn't thinking about the fact that I own that shot. I don't own the other one, but I own that shot. So why would I switch it up and try to do something weird? [00:21:28] Speaker B: So what I'm hearing is that instead of being, I mean, it's nice to be a cheerleader, but at some point it's also good to take that time, take a breath and talk it through. Like, you know, maybe one day we were playing together and you're like, just hit it in the middle. [00:21:45] Speaker C: Yes. [00:21:45] Speaker B: And. And so that really helped me. So giving them something to focus on is almost like a distraction from the anger and the frustration, because then you can channel that into something positive. [00:21:57] Speaker C: Yeah. In the coaching that I do in the business world, I always tell people to borrow from the places they're already confident. So if they're really good at. This is Jess's point. This is your point. I know that you can hit it in the middle. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Yep. [00:22:09] Speaker C: And so you have confidence in that? I. She knows that I can hit that backhand slice. So she knows that I have confidence in that. So it's like, don't just go to that thing and do that thing. Cause you need to do that. But also, if you're gonna do something different, borrow confidence from the fact that you've already mastered one thing, you can master another thing. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:22:24] Speaker C: So it kind of goes, kind of crosses both boundaries, because once you. Once you can go back to what you rely on, you feel more comfortable. Rest of your game. [00:22:31] Speaker B: Anyway, there's a whole case study on motivation based on just that. So what else? So you wanted to go back to what if you're mad about somebody on the other side? [00:22:42] Speaker C: They do at some point. [00:22:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:44] Speaker B: I know what you did today. I was hitting too hard to the new people, and so you just put me in my place real fast. I'm like, I even told Bob, I'm like, hey, he did that because he's trying to tell me something. I said, don't worry, he's not going to do that to you. And Bob just laughed. [00:23:04] Speaker C: But, yeah, you and I were teaching two brand new folks tonight. I was wearing a pickleball shirt at the grocery store. The lady was behind me. I didn't see her. She's like, pickleball. And I turned around, I said, have you heard of it? And she's like, yeah. And I said, have you played it? She's like, no. So I invited them to come out. [00:23:18] Speaker A: And play, and they did. [00:23:19] Speaker C: So they came out and played tonight. We taught him how to play, you and I. And then one other guy, Brian, joined us, which was really cool. And yes, yes, you were hitting some mean shots at my newbie partner. So I decided to light you up a little bit. [00:23:32] Speaker B: It was good. It snapped me out of the competition mode I was in. [00:23:36] Speaker C: So sometimes you speak nonverbally through your gameplay. Is that what I'm hearing you say you. [00:23:41] Speaker B: I totally read the signals. Absolutely. [00:23:44] Speaker C: I did rip a couple at you. This is where I. I can have a hot head. I don't usually. Honestly. No. I really don't know. I really don't most the time, you know, this. Really. [00:23:54] Speaker A: Okay, look, she's married to me. Does pretty decent on the court. [00:23:57] Speaker C: Yeah, but you're married to me, so it's a different. [00:23:59] Speaker B: I've seen you get mad on the court. Yeah. [00:24:01] Speaker C: Yes, but my love. Or, like, depending on who the person is on the other side of the court. My, like, for them, I'll say, is way more important to me than, did that ball hit in or out? [00:24:15] Speaker B: There you go. That's an attitude. [00:24:18] Speaker C: It's just a recognition of. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Oh, it's a little hard for you. It's a little hard for you, though. [00:24:24] Speaker C: I absolutely don't like it when people call an out shot, but I'm not going to end my relationship with James Abels because he calls a shot out. [00:24:29] Speaker A: That's in. [00:24:30] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. Like, Jessica and I will not ever play together again because she thought my shot was, whatever. I stepped in the kitchen or something. No, come on. [00:24:40] Speaker A: But you have never walked off a court, and I. And I have twice walked off of court. [00:24:48] Speaker C: I've never walked off a court. For a bad call. [00:24:50] Speaker A: No, not a bad. Well, I don't think it was a bad call. I walked off a court because of partner blaming. Oh. [00:25:02] Speaker B: Was that you? [00:25:03] Speaker C: That is a deep. [00:25:05] Speaker B: Did you make her mad? [00:25:07] Speaker C: No. [00:25:07] Speaker B: Okay. [00:25:08] Speaker C: That's a deeper level of psych psychology that we will not get into today. That might take a psychiatrist who can prescribe some medicine. [00:25:16] Speaker A: No, no, no. That was. It was. It wasn't me, actually, for once. Partner blaming. It was my partner. [00:25:23] Speaker C: It was her partner blaming. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Oh, and that's hard. [00:25:27] Speaker A: Well, really, what it was is he. He. I guess he. [00:25:33] Speaker C: That doesn't give it away. That's just half the people you play with. [00:25:35] Speaker A: They. He missed a middle shot on his forehand. And when I kind of, like, I. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Make a sound, you know, like, I totally sigh. [00:25:46] Speaker C: Also, her eyes roll, but we don't look. That's when the snakes come out. [00:25:51] Speaker A: When he. When he said, what? You wanted me to get that? And I. I said, yes, it's your ball. And then we had a disagreement on. On whose ball it was. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:05] Speaker A: And then we couldn't agree. So. [00:26:09] Speaker C: Brutal. [00:26:10] Speaker A: What is the step of conflict resolution where you leave? Is there a step? No. Okay. [00:26:20] Speaker B: Well, he's thinking. Actually, the wheel is spinning. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Actually, there is. [00:26:24] Speaker C: No, actually, there isn't. It's funny that sky hasn't brought this up, because this is why we expect sky to say, in martial arts, they teach you run from a fight. [00:26:32] Speaker B: They say run first and turn and fight. [00:26:35] Speaker C: So it's step one. Step one is to not get into the fight. [00:26:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:40] Speaker C: Let's literally, it. [00:26:40] Speaker B: The safest place is not to fight. [00:26:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Now, I think in that situation, and I wasn't on the court, I wasn't at the event, but I would look at that person and say, let's talk that through real quick. I felt like I had to be on the line to cover that line shot, since the ball was on my side of the court, meaning my side, meaning straight ahead of me, which means I have to expect you to cover the middle. So what. What did we miss there? How did. How did you expect me to cover the middle? Like, what did we miss as a team? Just. Let's just talk through it. I think that's the right approach. [00:27:09] Speaker B: I love that. And you know what? He does that in everyday life, too. So if something happens, whether it's professionally or if it's somebody he's working with, he'll say, you know, what makes it okay? Or, you know, help me understand, or he'll have a leading question that helps him, one truly understand and evaluate, and then it also helps bring to light, you know, how to fix it. So. [00:27:40] Speaker C: Yeah. And so now I think the same thing goes across the court, across the net. [00:27:44] Speaker A: I mean, we're still friends. [00:27:46] Speaker B: Good. [00:27:47] Speaker A: So good. [00:27:47] Speaker C: You and me. [00:27:48] Speaker B: That's good. [00:27:49] Speaker C: Oh, the other person. I'm like, whoa, it got deep really quick. Thank you. [00:27:54] Speaker A: Jessica Jones, superheroine from Marvel or Medusa, whatever. [00:28:01] Speaker C: Strong woman character. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Strong woman character. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:04] Speaker A: So across the net. [00:28:06] Speaker C: Yeah, same thing. Right. Well, you have to recognize the priority, which is you're gonna walk off this court, and this ten minutes isn't gonna matter in your life compared to your friendship with that person. [00:28:16] Speaker B: Or do you use it and win? [00:28:20] Speaker C: Unfortunately, she's trying to currently measure that out right now. [00:28:23] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. On both account. No, no. I think Jessica, four years ago, would not have. I don't want to say care, because I do care, but I would have put it. I would have taken it there. I would have been like, I don't care if you talk to me tomorrow. And I would have fought to the end, because, again, I'm an accountability person. I want justice. What? Yeah, accountability. I want, if you're in the wrong, I want you to say it. So Jessica now cares a little bit more about the relationships with the people, and I won't go that far. [00:29:09] Speaker B: That makes more sense. [00:29:10] Speaker C: I mean, if it's close, whatever. But if it's like, that was in 3ft. Yeah, I'll make an enemy out of someone for a few minutes. [00:29:16] Speaker A: But it's not just. It just depends on. Are we playing wreck? [00:29:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:23] Speaker A: Are we playing in a tournament? Because that's different. [00:29:26] Speaker B: Totally different. [00:29:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Totally different in my eyes, which is another thing. [00:29:31] Speaker C: Like, that's because you like justice. One is. One is sort of cheating you out of something, whereas the other one's just kind of like sloppy play. [00:29:37] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:29:39] Speaker A: Like, if we're in a tournament and. Okay, for instance, my. One of my partners was cramping. Oh, terribly. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:49] Speaker A: To the point where, you know, we were taking medical timeouts and trying to get her back in the game. When she came back in the game. Kudos to her, by the way. The other team went out. I mean, they went after her, which, in a tournament, I would say, should do that. They should. Now, we ended up winning the game. So super. Supergirl to my partner, because she handled it. That was awesome. But if we're playing wreck, like, if somebody falls. [00:30:19] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:20] Speaker A: Or, like, in the fall, I might send the ball back their way, but if they're hurt and the next play. Yeah. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna kill them. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:31] Speaker A: So I think it's just like a different. Are we playing tournament? Are we playing rec? Are we playing for fun? Are we all friends on the court? Like, what's going on? [00:30:41] Speaker B: Good point. [00:30:42] Speaker C: Wholeheartedly. Agree. Yeah. I mean, you know, across the court. Here's. Here's what I was gonna say earlier. It's. The game was designed to be, you know, it's 2024, so I'm not trying to upset anyone out there, but a gentlemanly game. [00:30:57] Speaker B: It's supposed to be kind. [00:30:59] Speaker C: A game of kindness, a game of friendliness, a game of respect, a game of community. Right. Which is what we. The word we use on almost every podcast cast. I mean, it ends with tapping pals and saying, good game. Right. So I think that if that governs how you play, that's a win for everybody, because that takes away the he said, she said it was the. You're in that. All that crap about, well, it was close or not close or kitchen or not kitchen. Like, we shouldn't have to care about any of that stuff. I still do. I'm not perfect. I'm saying, if we really allowed that component of community and kindness to govern, then we wouldn't be in those situations very often. [00:31:39] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:31:40] Speaker C: And that's a big deal. Problem is, that takes a lot of emotional intelligence because it's really hard not to be selfish and want what we want. [00:31:49] Speaker B: True. [00:31:51] Speaker C: Well, this is good stuff. It is pretty good stuff. Jessica, I'm so grateful for you to join us. Thank you for that. [00:31:56] Speaker A: No problem. [00:31:57] Speaker C: We appreciate that. I wish we had some superhero music for you. [00:32:00] Speaker B: I know. [00:32:01] Speaker C: All we have is our head of the game theme, which we love. We play the whole song at home now, don't we? [00:32:06] Speaker B: We do. [00:32:07] Speaker C: We like it. [00:32:07] Speaker A: We do. [00:32:08] Speaker C: It's a goodbye. [00:32:09] Speaker A: So this is resolution. [00:32:16] Speaker C: Resolve it, Jess. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Bye. [00:32:18] Speaker A: Bye. Bye. [00:32:20] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. Thank you for subscribing, liking, sharing you added the other week, sky. [00:32:28] Speaker A: Yep. [00:32:29] Speaker C: I am here with Sky Sweetlove Huff, co founder of the Sweet Lobster podcast with me, thanking Jessica Jones for being a part of our show. And we're out of here. Goodbye, everybody. [00:32:47] Speaker B: I'm ahead of the game. [00:32:48] Speaker C: I'm ahead of the game.